Well, I’ve been a dad for six weeks. Just referring to myself as a “dad” still feels weird, but yea, it’s been quite the learning experience. One that I will share in list form and in no particular order. Maybe some of you other fathers out there can relate.
Five things I’ve learned since I’ve become a dad:
1. Babies fart. Loud. Which may come in handy. If I ever wanted to let one rip in public, I can always blame the baby.
2. I learned the true meaning of “tired”. My wife told me to grab the milk bottle during three separate 4 AM feedings, I came back with a box of Golden Grahams, a Lysol Spray Can, and a loaf of bread.
3. Bottle of Milk > Dad. My son straight up bawls when he gets hungry. If I were to get destroyed by a T-Rex tomorrow, I’m positive my son would cry more for his milk.
4. Mommy is #1. Just stating the obvious there.
5. I didn’t know how much I can love a living, breathing, poop factory. awwww . . . or ewwww . . . ? But yea, I had to throw my Kodak moment out there. Do people still refer to touching moments as Kodak moments or is it “Canon Powershot 24 megapixel” moments nowadays?
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I’m old enough that they’ll always be Kodak moments to me.
I completely agree.
Besides, announcing that something is a “Canon Powershot 24 Megapixel moment” would either kill the moment, or take up so much time that the moment would have passed by the time you finished stating it.
Yea, that’s true. I can’t picture saying anything else.
I’m not gonna lie, I’m in the exact same boat as you. My boy was born 7 weeks ago, April 7th. He’s my first but I have a step son that is about to turn 4. Mommy is COMPLETELY number 1, and that bottle is king.
Hope your lil bundle of joy keeps doing well, and don’t worry, from what i’ve heard, they eventually start sleeping through the night!
Hey congrats cixelsyD. And yea, I can’t wait for the day when I can sleep over two consecutive hours. Still, it has been pretty awesome, so far. *Fingers crossed*
Oh ya, and you can be as sappy as you like. This weekend was my mom’s birthday so when she was visiting holding the new grandson talking all “coo”-ey like he looked up at her and had his first Real non-gas smile. Dear lord, the waterworks were turned on. I’m a grown ass man and was “hit with the vapors” *fans face*
Awesome, that’s like a Hallmark Holiday moment right there. I my first pee in the face moment. Was pretty shocked, all I could think of at that moment was “this kind of resembles a water fountain.” Good thing I knew better than to open my mouth.
Here’s another one for you- what did they call a really good memory before photos?
And as a dad, it gets even better for you when the poop factory has one of their own, so they learn that karma really IS a bitch. All you put with as a dad will be visited upon them, and you can look at it and f-ing laugh. I always wondered why my wife’s parents smiled when I bitched…… now I know.
Uh… photographic?… oh wait, I got nothing. Drawing blanks.
And lol, looks like fatherhood is going to be a blast. I guess I should be enjoying these poop factory moments now before I get hit with the wreck my car moments.
#2….daafuq??…golden grahams and bread are way off lol
haha yea, my wife thought I went nuts cause it appeared like I was conscious. But the bread was the last of it, she took me off after hours bottle duty.
you clever bastard…
haha, all part of the plan . . .
*tips hat and lifts drink*
I was once told with children that everything is exponential. I have to totally agree. I have 3, one 6 year old, one 4 year old and one 5 month old. And like I said, exponential, so 9 times the trouble, but nine times the love. The youngest, I think even creates that much more poop. Good news… you learn to operate with no sleep.
Man, four kids!?! Much respect to you Ross. And yea, it’s been pretty good so far. Every new thing he does is something momentous. I don’t think I was ever so happy about poop the first time he did it. Best of luck with your kids and I’ll keep on trying to learn how to operate with no sleep. So far lesson, has not been learned.
Congrats on the baby! Mine was born May 8th. Isn’t it funny how poop conversations are perfectly normal to have? No one will think you are weird if they over hear you asking your wife if the baby pooped that day, what color it was and if it looked “normal.” Haha
My oldest (6 yrs) just lost his tooth the other day, my middle one (15 mths) now sleeps in his big boy bed and my youngest is smiling now. Enjoy yours at this age, they truly do grow up fast.
By the way, my husband is the heaviest sleeper of all. I gave up long ago on waking him up. We got to the point where he would just sleep walk out of our room and continue his sleep in our hallway. After that, I didn’t see the point of trying to wake him up. Something you should think about: your tiredness doesn’t compare to that of your wife’s. She was pregnant for 9+ months, gave birth to the little meatball and now is feeding/burping/changing/carrying him aat all hours of the day and night. Tell her you love and appreciate her every day.
Good luck! And congrats again.
lol, yes, totally yes on the poop conversations. And I am so in on parenting conversations now. It’s like an unofficial club or something. I can totally relate to most of the new parents out there.
Congrats on all three of your kids Beatriz, I’m guessing they must be a handful, but an awesome handful. Ah, the first time my boy smiled at me, I straight melted. My wife had to peel me off the floor.
lol, and good advice there. My wife loves to read it to me daily now.
And thanks! Good luck to you as well. Hopefully your husband will find a way to change diapers in his sleep one day.
For the horde!
lol, yes, my son will be rolling horde.
or he will be learning about the notion of adoption.
So Chur, today my boy is officially 4 months old! Geez, where has the time gone? He is smiling constantly, we can Sometimes coax a laugh out of him, he has rolled over a couple of times, screams “dad” when he’s really upset… i swear his first legible mumbles were “i love you”. the wife and i are still having the “did he poop today?” conversations…
I tell you what man, other parents tell you stories when you don’t have kids and you think, ya whatev, thats great. But the first time you hear that laugh, its hard to get back up from that puddle on the floor.
Hope things are still going great for you and yours!
awesome, 4 months. Another milestone. I think I consider every month that passes by a milestone nowadays. Man, your boy can actually say words? I think that might be genius level for babies. I’m still trying to get my kid to stop aiming for my face when I’m changing his diapers.
Gotta say, getting a smile from your baby is one of the best feelings in the world. and lol at the poop conversations, I can so relate.
And yea, just the other day I was hanging with childless friends, I totally killed the conversation when I brought up my kid. Ah well.
And thanks, things are going good except for my kid getting a case of eczema all over, but hopefully that’ll clear up in time. Keep on enjoying your son’s smiles CixelsyD.
Well now, I won’t say he Speaks all the time, per se. BUT, he does scream Dad when he is upset lol. And “I Love You” comes out mostly “eh yuv ooh” but, dude, you can SOOO totally hear it, no really, come on, it’s not just me……. right?!?!?!?!?!?
That eczema stuff ain’t fun. My step son has had it since birth and he’s gonna be 4 next weekend. We have an endless prescription for hydrocortisone cream for that boy. However, we did find this last week that you can try some Vitamin E on the bad spots and it helps quite a bit.
lol, I wouldn’t be surprised. Kids these days, I feel like they catch on faster. I’ve been told all I did was sit around and stuff my face till I was three . . . oh wait, I still that do that.
Yea, I didn’t know what it was, but now I hate it. My kid keeps scratching his face up. And ouch, 4 years of eczema. That’s rough. You look at the kid and all the red spots, and it looks itchy as heck. Hmm, vit E? I’ll try that, we tried hydrocortisone, tea baths, coconut oil, petro jelly, none of it seems to have any long lasting effects. Just temporary relief, if that. The Dr. told us to keep him moisturized, so he’s like greased pig 24/7. But yea, hope the vitamin E oil works out for your step son. And thanks for the tip.